When A Child Becomes Penitent And Comes Looking For Reconciliations

Be patient with your child / verywell.com

Picture this scene: Your contrite son or daughter comes to you probably from where you angrily sent him off to because of having done something that made you angry, with a sobbing voice saying....'Mm mummy..Pp lease I'm sorry I'll not...!!!

....but before the last sentences comes out of his mouth.., you angrily threw it back to the child by saying...' The important thing is not saying sorry with tears, but not to repeat it again and... probably added that long hiss with squeezed face. (You just did the right thing wrongly).

What you said was right but it should have been reserved for some other times when you are more friendlier and not immediately. A silent pretense should have sufficed and achieved more good! But never mind, you are only a human...and probably know that you should have done better than that. it's OK, let's move on.

Read More About The Different Between Schooling And Education

The children are there to test you to some limits but a parent's matured ways of handling things would always suffice so that things doesn't get out of hand. They are bound to do some silly things and come back to beg because they are just what they are, the children.

Handling things maturely with a child / verywell.com

 At times like that, parents should be careful not to return fire for fire by displaying their angers immediately because that can only make matters worst. It's like turning down a peace treaty and that may likely make the child to feel bad, regretting why he even made the effort in the first place to come begging.

 If the parent continued hammering on the issues repeatedly, the child may be pushed to defend himself and probably returns the shouting back to you; when this happens, it's either you repeat the punishment or feels worst yourself and probably goes into sulking.

If  parent disregard their children's apologies all the times, they are unwittingly telling them that it's of no needs begging for their wrongdoing and that they should do whatever they feel like doing and whatever havoc caused will always get cleared by itself, which is not true. It rather makes the kids to be more hardened.

See Also What You Need To Know About Real And Trusted Friends

It pays to let your children know that they have been forgiven; they will be happier and also learn to do the same. When you forgives a child their mistakes, let it show and if it's necessary as I believe, have have whatever might have caused the frictions discussed later when you are in some milder mood.

Let Maturity And Love Guide Your Reactions

Though this is applicable in some certain age but the general rule and the most important one is for your children to know that you still love them. It makes a parent to feel better by hating the wrong character of the child and not the child itself.

So when the fight is over as it surely would, let them know that they are welcome back into your affections and that whatever happened now belonged to the past as you do well not to bring past events up anytime there re' future misunderstandings.

We know that misunderstanding will always occur but remain alert to the situations that usually trigger them and do your best to keep them at the barest minimum. Help your children to know that you cherish them more for making the necessary efforts to apologize whenever they are wrong and tries not to repeat them.

It also helps a lot to settle your frictions with your older children when you are not with any other person, be it some family members, siblings or friends because they will feel respected and know that you value their feelings.

No matter the level of the misunderstanding, if you want it handled once and for all, resist the tendencies of talking things to death because the kids are not robots; they have feelings and know that they wronged you and that should be enough for you to minimize the lengths of the time you talk about it.

Find Out Whether It Is Possible To Have Your Child As A Best Friend

Know the right time to have whatever frictions you have with your children settled and avoid making all the minor issues with your children a public fanfares.

Your contrite child has seen where he got it wrong and is coming back to you because you are still his best option irrespective of what might have taken place...do your best to have him or them welcomed back into your fold and iron things out because you will be using that to train them for the real life ahead of them.

This post is in the series of Effective Parenting Techniques