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| A mother and her two lovely daughters/bostonmagazine.com |
Our children are definitely not going to spend their whole lifetime at home with us as their parents under normal conditions and as such, we have a lot of work to do to prepare them for the school of hard knocks outside there in the world. Go big or Go Home! That's the language the world hears!
Training of our children is one job that has several branches which if we neglect as parents, would negatively affect them for the rest parts of their independence life as adults.
Being firm with our children when it comes to granting their numerous demands goes a long way in helping them to see this life exactly the way it is and not the opposite which some parents do while believing that they are doing all they could for their children.
It is the responsibility of the parents to provide their children with whatever they need but it is also a proven fact that not all parents in the world could be able to meet all these demands, but even for those that could be able to provide adequately for their children, enough cares should be taken so as not to spoil the kids on the process and give them wrong impressions about the society to be exposed to later in life.
Helping The Kids To See Life The Way It Is
The most essential thing you owes to your children is to help them to know that living is attached with rights and some corresponding responsibilities. There's no option to this and the earlier parents start that the better.
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| Teach the children to interact with real things/letslassothemoon.com |
For instance, if your children want to be treated like the adults, it then becomes your duty to let them know that they has to behave like the adults if they want to be treated as such.
It is just that simple because even in the society in general, if an adult behaves like a child, he would be treated like a child also. So you wouldn't be taken for a wicked father or mother for withdrawing any rights you gave to your children but which they misused or abused.
As the kids grow in years, the right to demand equally grows with them and you will be doing them good by granting them those rights, but do not fail to point out the responsibility that goes along with them.
For the average parents with enough pocket money for their children, it should be a realistic gestures for them to have their weekly or monthly allowances measured by their responsibilities at home.
State clearly that they could loose their allowances for failing to carry out their respective duties at home such as doing their respective household chores.
Do that and stick with it for it is a real life lesson for them which would be certain to see them through the working stages of their adult life.
When the children are helped to know that there's nothing like something for nothing in life, they would be more inclined to always work for their needs and comforts and that will help them to be independent with less reasons to be anyone's slave in the future as an adult.
Other Areas To Be Firm With our Children
The demands of the children increases as they get older in years especially in their teenage years (Thirteen to Eighteen years) but wise parents know very well that getting taller is never a license for them to lower their strict standards in training their children for a responsible life in the future.
As the children get older, they would demand for more respects and privacy which is not bad but this can only be granted to them based on their overall behaviors.
They may also want their parents to allow them more time out with friends which is not bad but are they ready to be back at the stipulated time given to them? This determines whether the right would remain or gets withdrawn.
What about giving your teenage son or daughter the rights to the car key? That area is another angle that enough maturities would have been shown before releasing because it's matter of life and death.
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| Realities of driving/consumerreports.org |
Another area to be firm with your growing teenager is on the areas of friendships. This is usually nothing when they are still toddlers but as they grow up in years with the abilities of assimilating some vices, parental concerns should come into play and have things addressed normally.
The Children Are Also Humans Like Us
These kids are not robots and they are wise enough to know exactly what their parents are doing for them and in case you don't or may not know, they know that you care for them and doesn't want anything bad to happen to them, but guess what, they won't tell you!
They want to play on your intelligence and see how far you can be stretched as their parents in order to have their way and explore the world around them, they know and we the parents know because we were once like them and passed through that same stages of life.
In all, let's discard the popular ideas of having no strings attached, No! We owe it as a duty to let our children to know that there are so many strings attached when it comes to the real life responsibilities.
Get it firmly established in their minds that everything they want in life comes with strings attached; be it status, respect, independent, freedom, money and all other things.
We have to teach them values when still with us so as to program them for a successful life out there in the world. You are not being wicked by not letting them off the the hook as it were but is rather giving them the best for their tomorrows.
As you grant them their respective rights, make sure you let know that nothing comes for nothing and that to whom much is given, much, even much more would be required from him.
This post is in the series of effective Parenting Techniques
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